Six years…

The first time I met you I wasn’t nervous. I had a good feeling about you. We went to see a movie together and you held my hand the hold time. From time to time I glanced in your direction while the movie was on. I looked at your eyes. For the first time in my life you felt like home, I felt comfort, I felt love I knew I found my soulmate….Flash forward six years I asked you if you wanted a family. You said “sure but I’m getting old” I replied with “no, I don’t believe so. I want a family with you.” You didn’t say anything else. You drew quiet. You drew back you said nothing. But I ignored it because I love you. It’s hard to described my love for you because I don’t think it needed a definition. It was a feeling a literal gut feeling that goes throughout my body. It is an indescribable feeling: a sensation that I never felt before. But everytime I say I love how much I wished you say it back. I hoped one day he will say it but that day will not come. You decided that love isn’t important or I’m not. I’m not sure….. but I can’t stay in limbo for the rest of my life. Hoping you will say “I love you “. I want to create a life, a family with my soulmate. I want meaning to someone. I want a gift or a card for my birthday, holidays or just because . I never got anything like that in the six years I stood by you. I wanted meaning in your life. You never thought I deserved it. I don’t want to wait forever until maybe you feel like you want this. I should not be an option at this point. For six years I traveled, save up money, sold my possessions, gave you my treasures because I love you and I happily gave them up freely. You didn’t want to give any of time in return. Love isn’t something you take for granted. Love is something you work on to let it grow. Please I hope you find it in your heart to allow it to grow.

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