When the love of your life turns out not to be the love of your life …

For the past 7 years I have love someone that I have moved emotional and physical mountains for. There were times when I mistook his silence as a need of space, his bitter comments about others as him confiding in me. The countless trips that I would have to sell my some of processions for as a sign that he love me as love. But I came to learned something that will stick with me, he didn’t care about what I did to show him I love him. He didn’t care how scared I was last year when I got my first major surgery. He never offer help when I was out of the job even though he offered to pay for his friends mortgage. I never got a birthday or holiday card or gift when I would scrimped, work overtime, sell things for to get him something for every birthday, or holiday. Everything that I give up freely to him he seemed bother. The last time I went to visit him was for two weeks, I love every minute I was with him. I was shattered when I had to go back. It took me weeks to stop crying. After I got back I told him that I wanted a family with him, he said he was too old. I said I didn’t think so. He felt like home and I wanted to create a family, a home. Something for him to come home too. Instead he stop talking to me, he would treat me like a stranger. I tried to reach out saying I love you please don’t forget me or treat me like a stranger. But he said nothing. I knew right there and then my soul mate wouldn’t treat me so badly. I have love him so freely and did everything my heart could until it worn itself out. My heart hurts so much it is tired and exhausted to see him freely give love, attention, gifts and money to his friends. I felt like a bother, a person who would love him regardless and with open arms. My heart is trying to heal from the past 7 years. It looks at things differently, through a cautionary lens. But it will never treat them the way I was treated by him.

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