fiction

Curator’s Spotlight: @bigfunbeth

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This week’s post is by my friend @bigfunbeth, who is the co-owner of one of my favorite stores: @GreenwichLetterpress

“My So-Called Life, 30 Years”

“My So-Called Life debuted on April 25, 1994. It was the summer before I started high school and I was fourteen years old.

On that Thursday night in 1994, a small group of my friends convened at Jessica’s house. We all crammed onto her couch to watch the pilot debut. “An honest look at growing up in the 90’s said the ad that ran in TV Guide. Wait, we were growing up in the 90’s and who were all of these people that kind of look like people who could know? Plus, the show already had its own scandal- the main girl wants to stab her mother in the first episode, we heard? “Wait, is she really going to say that?”

After the pilot ended I remember immediately thinking, “I don’t know if I’m the same person I was an hour ago.” I looked around me. None of my other friends had liked the show very much.This felt like something that had separated me from them irreparably. We never got together to watch it again, and my hair was dyed orange by the end of 8th grade. I was Angela Chase, and at the time, it felt like I was the only one.

For the next handful of months, I was obsessed, and then, as suddenly as it had exploded into my life. It was over. There were rumors. Poor ratings. The lead actress wanted to pursue movies instead. I remember asking my mother about it like she wrote for Premiere magazine or something and had the inside scoop. There was no social media to turn to, there was no 24 hour news cycle. What had just happened to the thing that felt like my actual life just spread across nineteen episodes of TV? There was an online petition to bring it back, which at the time was groundbreaking. Then, just nothing…until MTV.

When MTV got the right to syndicate the show, I got to see my old friends again. They would cut the promos in fun and clever ways. There were all-day marathons, and one was hosted by Claire Danes and Jared Leto. I can remember the very 90’s dELIA’s looking shirt Claire wore. Her hair, OMG, it’s kind of strawberry blond now and shorter, and OMG, Jared’s hair is short now, too. I was so thirsty for content. I was starved for it, or whatever.

When the “Self-Esteem” episode come on it was like, everyone please stop talking and leave the room. He’s about to grab her hand in the hallway. For me, this was the epitome of love on screen, and I yearned for that love to happen to me in real life. As did every single person I have discussed that scene within the past thirty years. In fact, we all screwed up countless relationships holding out for that exact moment.

MTV gave the show a new audience and anyone who had missed out the first time had a chance to watch it. I remember meeting new kids in high school who now loved it and watching repeats with my sophomore-year boyfriend. There was a community growing around this show and it was like, cool. It was actually just cool. People were connecting with something that felt honest, inspired, and real. Only if it now only existed in reruns.

I recently showed the series to my husband for the first time, who was in his 20s, when it premiered. He was so taken with how dark the show was. Not the mood, he said, but the literal lack of actual light, which he thinks impacted how it was received for the first time around. I’m like, yeah, babe, that is the light that you bask in as a teenage girl filled with angst, lust, emotion, and uncertainty.

Since I own a shop, I have to comment on the merch. MSCL had virtually nothing to offer its obsessed fans. There was an early VHS set and soundtracks on cassette and CD. My sister and I of course had the soundtrack on both mediums and were horrified to discover that “Late At Night” by Buffalo Tom was missing. Nooooo. In 2002, there was a DVD set (no bonus content) and then a deluxe version that came in a lunchbox. By 2007 there was yet another DVD set, but this time there were extras. Finally, something else we could grab onto. Creator Winnie Holzman and Claire Danes sat down together and discussed what might have happened in season two. When I first watched this conversation, I felt like crying and then passing out. It was 1995 all over again. A love triangle between Angela, Jordon, and Brian!? Sharon pregnant?!? Graham leaves Patty?!? The agony was unbearable. It honestly still is.

All of these years later, despite just that single season of TV and lack of physical ephemera, this show doesn’t just quietly linger on (cue the Cranberries) – it has a foot firmly planted in the hearts of everyone who fell in love with it thirty years ago. In fact, it’s a barometer. I use for when I meet new people. The second someone can have the MSCL conversation, I think, “This is my person, and I am their person.” Countless times I’ve acknowledged with friends and fans about how this show made us realize we were transitioning into adulthood. How, with every rewatch, you start to connect more with Patty and Grahan and drift a little farther away from lockers and boiler rooms. When I was a teenager, I thought it was gross how much sex her parents had on the show, and now I think it’s hysterical. What 40 years with kids and careers has the energy for that much sex? Plus, now, I am four years older than Patty Chase was on the show, Hold on, I’m calling my therapist…

“Patty, we’re forty!”- Camille Cherski

As for someone who lives and breathes nostalgia and often wonders if it’s a mistake, I never feel like rewatching MSCL is a waste of my time. The things that made me laugh or cry all those years ago still do, and I feel like I learn something new about human nature every time I revisit. There is so much that has already been said about this show and, what its place was in the 90’s and how it might resonate to young people today. This is not that. This is just my little ode to a time and place that was for me, My absolute So Called Life.

Stray Thoughts

  • Was the Chase’s cat name Lady Di?
  • Tino is the JAWS of the 90’s, much more powerful to never see him
  • Shit ok, Brian IS cute!
  • It’s insane that Graham tells Neal about his affair in the kitchen while Patty is within earshot.
  • Andy Cherski is probably a babe.
  • I love that Graham is shocked Patty can make curtains and she’s shocked he can hang wallpaper.
  • “Brain Krahow?” “I like Buffalo Tom, I do!” “Stephan Dieter guy. Still funny.
  • I want to be friends with Vic Racine and Mr. Katimski and share coffee with them in the teacher’s break room. I also desperately want to be invited into a teacher’s break room, anywhere.
  • Weekend, Life of Brian, The Substitute and Self Esteem are my favorite episodes.
  • If you can find a friend to tell off Jordan like Rayanne does, you’ve arrived.

Spring reading: 5 books to read this spring!

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With the new spring season, I am always interested in what books come with it. Here are five books I am looking forward to reading this spring season:

Native Nations: A Millennium in North America by Kathleen DuVal. Professor Kathleen DuVal teaches early American and American Indian history at North Carolina at Chapel Hill. This is her second book, and this new book discusses how Indigenous Americans made multiple cities way before North America was founded.

The Link to order is here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/575441/native-nations-by-kathleen-duval/

Bugsey and Other Stories by Rafael Frumkin. This collection of five stories brings funny and creative tales that break away from your regular reading material.

The Link to buy is here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Bugsy-Other-Stories/Rafael-Frumkin/9781982189761

The Swans of Harlem by Katen Valby concerns five ballerinas from the Dance Theatre of Harlem during the Civil Rights movement. This absorbing book finally tells the stories of endurance, dance, and friendship.

The Link to buy is here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/716415/the-swans-of-harlem-by-karen-valby/

Tom Selleck: You Never Know. The actor and the cool guy have finally written a memoir!

The Link to buy is here: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/you-never-know-tom-selleck?variant=41170682511394

Husbands by Holly Gramazio. Lauren goes to her house one night and sees a lovely, fully decorated home. She is greeted by her fantastic husband. The only problem is that she is not married!

The link to buy is here:https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/743083/the-husbands-by-holly-gramazio/

What books are currently on your to-read list?

Comment below!

The Tragedy of Joyce Carol Vincent

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Joyce Carol Vincent was born on October 19, 1965, in the London part of Hammersmith. Her parents were from Grenada and moved to London shortly before Joyce’s birth. Joyce’s mother died when Joyce was only eleven years old. And her four older sisters took it upon themselves to care for Joyce while she was growing up. Joyce did not have the best relationship with her father because he was unemotional and distant from her.

She went to school at Melcombe Primary School. And Fulham Gilliatt School for Girls, but she dropped out by the time she was sixteen years old without graduating. She was well-liked and had a lot of well-known friends in the music business.

In 1985, she worked as a secretary at OCL in London and later at Ernst and Young. She spent four years in their treasury department. She worked there until 2001 when she quit for reasons that were not known. Throughout that period, she spent some time at a domestic abuse shelter in Haringey while working as a cleaner in a budget hotel.

It was during this time. She stopped talking to her family even though there was no fighting or any disputes between her and her sisters. She just simply decided to stop talking to them. Her family was aware of the relationship that Joyce was in had a history of domestic violence. There was some theorizing that perhaps Joyce had shame that she was a victim of domestic violence or that she did not want the person who abused her out where she lived.

In February 2003, Joyce moved to a bedsit flat above the Wood Green Shopping Center. In November of the same year, she noticed that she was vomiting blood and went to the North Middlesex Hospital for a couple of days and was diagnosed with a peptic ulcer.

Joyce was at her apartment when she died. Some speculate that she passed away in December 2003 due to having asthma and a peptic ulcer. Some theorized that she had an asthma attack or had some prolonged issues surrounding her peptic ulcer that led to her death. However, there was no determined definition of how she passed away.

The weirdest thing about this was that Joyce’s body was not found until three years after her death. Her surrounding neighbors thought that her apartment had no one in there. They also believed that the odor of decomposing was the smell of trash because the trash cans were so close to their residence on the bottom floor. In addition, no one ever questioned the noise of the television being on all the time, and it was just a noisy neighborhood. The neighbors never assumed that they had a deceased neighbor in the bedsit for three years.

Regarding her rent and utilities being paid, she had set up an automatic payment from her bank account for the utilities. And half of her rent was produced by the Metropolitan Housing Trust for about a year. It was not until two years after that it was noticed. The back rent of 2,400 pounds was when the officials in charge of housing went to Joyce’s apartment to repossess the property.

When they entered the property in January 2006, they were shocked to find Joyce deceased. They located her in the living area on the couch while the tv was on. The pathologist at the scene noticed that the refrigerator had expired food as far back as 2003. Joyce was found on her back with a shopping bag next to her and Christmas presents that looked like she had wrapped them but had no labels for who they were. Joyce’s body was severely decomposed. And could no longer have a post-mortem conducted. She was only IDed by her dental records and a photo of her.

It was also speculated that she had a boyfriend at the time of her death, but no one was able to locate or find him. The police concluded that Joyce died of natural causes, and no foul play caused her death. Her sisters were notified of Joyce’s passing and all the details surrounding it. They, in return, told the police that they had been trying to contact her for a while and had even hired a private detective to locate her. However, they had no idea what happened to her and decided Joyce had broken all their connections with them and did not want to be bothered by them.

A documentary about Joyce called Dreams of a Life contains interviews with people who knew her and some of her friends. I was able to rent it and watch it for a better understanding of Joyce Vincent’s life and tragic ending. The trailer is below:

Until next time!