Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know there are some days that are hard. But other days will be and are enjoyable.
Sometimes you question yourself on what to do in life and what is your purpose. But that never gets answered in a day. It takes a whole lifetime to try out new things to see what makes sense for you and what does not.
It will be a lifetime effort of trial and error but it should never seem like a contest. Just do the best you can. And when you think you are alone just stop and remember all the family and friends that love you.
The most important thing you yourself can do is love yourself. Share kindness and show encouragement to others. Remember that the world is sometimes cruel and cold but by no means you have to be.