When August feels like September: I am still heartbroken with the way you left things….
I loved you unconditionally, supported you in choices that I knew that would make you happy. Sold things when I had no job and no money to see you. Supported your happiness when you said no one did. It hurts that I have no communication with you. I still cry about this. There are times where I am so taken by grief that I start crying uncontrollably. But I know that when I do this it is my only way to grieve. So I decided to write when I feel this way. To write my words and my truth because you pretend that I do not exist. Like I am not a worthy person to have a conversation with. You cannot not hide from the world or from your own emotions. Perhaps it’s a pride thing that you feel justify in your actions I am not sure. But the only way I can feel out my pain is in writing. Sharing and communicating with others. I am not the only one in this journey. Although I admit it has been the most painful journey I have been on up to this point my life. However I know that I am not the only one walking this path. I know that others have been on this road, and was or still is walking these same steps. Not knowing where this path will lead, when to have a pit stop or when they finish their path. Know that you are not alone in this. But hiding is not the answer in healing that I know for sure. I might be on this path for months, years I don’t know but yet I continue to go forward. To walk on it because some days I walk quicker than others days. Some day I completely stop but I will still go forward.